December 2009
2 posts
That’s just a 12 mile long iceberg headed straight for you, not to worry.
Rats, the animal responsible for the bubonic plague, are a protected species in Australia.
November 2009
1 post
Kangaroos, when threatened, will DROWN YOUR DOG.
August 2009
1 post
THREE WORDS: MASSIVE BIRD-EATING SPIDERS (And you thought dingos would be coming for your babies?) (mness)
July 2009
25 posts
The primary agricultural product of Australia is the castor oil plant and ricin production is a cottage industry practiced throughout the country.
The atmosphere in Australia is comprised mostly of carbon monoxide, paint funes, and boomerangs.
Man, drunk off his ass, catches 1.3m shark with his bare hands.
In 1941 an entire town was swallowed by a sinkhole killing over 1000 people. One kangaroo survived the incident, only to be devoured by dingos the next day. (cwa)
The oldest life on Earth died in Australia.
Most popular sports in New Zealand are considered extreme, because when you live that close to death, what have you got to lose?
Infants are considered an invasive species in Australia.
‘Australia’ is Aramaic for ‘The 8th Sin’.
Commercial airliners fly above 30000 feet. Not because of any aeronautic reason, but because that’s the safest distance from Australia.
It’s estimated that by 2012 morgues will outnumber people in Australia 8:1.
The knife from ‘Crocodile Dundee’ wasn’t a prop; in Australia bowie knives are issued at birth and knife training is compulsory.
The only fish in Australia are man-eating sharks and man-eating swordfish. There are no fresh water fish in Australia because there is no fresh water in Australia. (bg)
The largest living thing on earth is the Great Barrier Reef. It used to run amok, eating bison on the midwestern plains, until Steve Irwin caught it and tamed it. (bg)
Russell Crowe might be from New Zealand, but we all know where he’s going to die.
A full-sized dingo is between 8 and 12 feet long, and weighs about 250lbs. (bg)
Mad Max is the Australian equivalent of Santa Claus.
The CIA World Factbook describes Australia’s location as “between a rock and a hard place.”
Mad Max - which was filmed in Australia - is actually a fairy tale there and told to children. (mw)
Everyone in Austrailia has a murderer as their forefather. (rs)
8 of the worlds top 10 deadliest snakes live in a one bedroom apartment in Sydney.
The Great Barrier Reef is composed of nearly 30% asbestos and contains other carcenogenic and hazardous materials that may cause birth defects. (mw)
If Australia and Chuck Norris were to get into a fight, Mr. Norris would be a little scared.
Koalas have fangs that shoot fosters, which is naturally poisonous, but very well filtered before being sold to stupid yanks.
Australia’s chief export is broken glass.
The Warlpiri word for ‘poison’ just happens to be ‘australia’.